Opinion by Jamie Silvonek: Why I deserve to be released from prison 10 years after pleading guilty to my mother’s murder
At 14, I was sentenced to 35 years to life in an adult prison for my role in my mother’s murder. After exhausting all other options, I am seeking commutation of my sentence.
Commutations are extraordinarily rare, especially for incarcerated women. From 1990-2017, no women’s sentences were commuted in Pennsylvania. In 2018, Tina Brosius was the first woman whose sentence was commuted in 28 years. Since 2018, only 10 women have had their sentences commuted.
Despite such daunting statistics, I believe in commutation because I believe that every human being is more than the worst decisions they’ve ever made. I believe in the human capacity for positive change and redemption.
I know firsthand how devastating the consequences of my decisions have been: I’ve lost my mom, the person who took care of me and loved me unconditionally. It is impossible for me to describe what it is like to know that I am responsible for my mom’s death and to live with it every single day.
My mother’s death, and my responsibility for it, have been devastating for my family. My father lost his wife of over 30 years; my brother lost his mother; and my grandparents had to bury their only daughter. Even 10 years later, my family continues to grapple with this devastation. The irreparable harms that result from such a tragedy are never isolated: They ripple outward, altering the trajectory of everyone’s lives. The loss of my mom has affected our entire community.
I will never be able to bring my mom back, fully atone for what I’ve done or repair the harms for which I am responsible. This knowledge has filled me with all-consuming guilt and self-hatred for many years. I didn’t believe that there was a point in continuing to live after causing such irreparable harm to my mom, my family and community. Though I still carry the same guilt, I am immensely grateful that I now cherish my life.
Today, I know that the purpose of my life is to honor my mom and her love for me by becoming a person that she can be proud of.
